the dildo vibrates poorly I only
changed one battery again
this laziness this lack of
ownership it’s almost more satisfying
to have objects half-working to have
the motor half dead because I’m not really
doing it I’m only half doing it and we are
ever so grateful for the energy that’s left
fatigue requires constant jumpstarting
I like how the meager dildo feels against
my clit vibrates but a decibel too slow to
cum I must mentally accelerate to cum
I must concoct an elaborate cocktail of
past and projection to cum I must maintain
total stillness to cum I must be engulfed in
narrative to cum I must locate a
mirror
And how can one be violent
about the sort of things one’s
expected
to write about?2
motion is not accessible this body hides
even when there is no environment no
circumstance no ground in dreams my
mother appears only as a presence I sit at
a lot of picnic tables I have done extensive
research
on the symbolism of “picnic tables” it’s
inconclusive
